Helen The Octopus

O! Helen was an octopus.
Her arms were numbered eight.
And when she wore her bracelets.
She always showed up late.

(It doesn’t hurt to know that
if you take her on a date.
I took her to the movies once,
And had to wait and wait.)

But balancing this minor flaw,
Which even Helen hates,
I know she has a hundred thousand
Beneficial traits.

I’ve seen her type four letters!
And play four mandolins!
And paint eight oil portraits!
And feed four sets of twins!

I’ve even seen her manage
To ice eight separate cakes!
And do eight Sunday crosswords –
With only two mistakes!

I’ve seen her make eight cups of tea!
And skip eight perfect stones!
I’ve seen her knit four sweaters!
And use eight telephones!

I’ve seen her lift eight dumbells!
And take eight photographs!
And catch eight monarch butterflies!
And draw eight tall giraffes!

Oh, that Helen’s really something!
There isn’t any doubt!
And since she’s free tomorrow night,
Why don’t you ask her out!?